How to Deal With Your Shy Guy: 15 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow
As a shy male, you probably have a little voice inside you telling you you're not these moments,” says psychologist and relationship expert Melanie Schilling. As a social confidence coach, I work with shy guys on daily basis. As I already alluded to, as a shy guy, the primary source of your shyness is your faulty thinking , not the way you are . I have just had a relationship with an extremely shy guy. So, how exactly do you get a shy guy to open up? More importantly, how can you tell if a shy guy is in to you? And, when you finally do score a.
How to Deal With a Shy Guy in a Relationship | Dating Tips
Men are especially competitive, achievement-seeking and results-oriented. Of course, success and status are very relative and the problem is that shy guys distort the reality in their heads and make themselves seem much, much worse than they are. And this generates unreasonable coyness. Secondly, shy guys perceive themselves as sexually unattractive. Deep down, they believe that a woman could never be sexually interested in them. This is why they regularly try to compensate for their alleged lack of sexual attractiveness by being extremely nice with girls they like, paying a lot of attention to them or buying them expensive gifts.16 Signs A Shy Guy Likes You
Yet again, this lack of sexual attractiveness is merely a figment of their imagination, a result of some very faulty stereotypes used to understand human sexuality. It has little to do with the objective reality. From Shy Guy to Social Guy A lot of shy guys appear to deem that their lack of social confidence is the result of their shortages in terms of success, status, looks, charisma or sexual experience.
5 Things You Need To Know When Dating A Shy Guy | Thought Catalog
Although these shortages may be to some degree real and they can be contributing factors to shyness, their role is only secondary. As I already alluded to, as a shy guy, the primary source of your shyness is your faulty thinking, not the way you are as a person. Whatever your condition may be, trust me, I know several guys in the exact same condition who are very confident socially and have no problems making friends or enticing members of the opposite sex.
But your thinking amplifies your flaws, even invents false ones, and embellishes their meaning. Obviously, the solution is weeding out these automatic thinking patterns and replacing them with more accurate ones.
Indentifying unrealistic thoughts you have in social settings; Challenging and correcting these thoughts; Gradually developing a more social behavior; And being persistent with this process. This is a just a gross outline of the process.
For this purpose I have created a special video presentatio n for you. Go here now to check out the presentation and learn how the psychological process of changing your thinking and eliminating limiting beliefs works.
Do things together that will reinforce his self-esteem, like whipping up a delicious meal. Step 2 Resist the temptation to obsessively fill silences with chatter. Shy guys are often comfortable just sitting with you and enjoying your company.
In fact, shy people often compare themselves unfavorably to outgoing, chatty types, so your monologue might be making him feel inadequate. In quiet moments, hold his hand or smile at him.
Ask him questions about himself -- his favorite book growing up, or memories of his grandfather -- that will draw him out of his shell. Step 3 Introduce your friends and family slowly. A quiet dinner with your parents will be less intimidating for your guy than a family reunion replete with cousins and your loud, obnoxious Uncle Bob.
Invite your best friend along for mini-golfing with you and your guy, rather than bringing him along to her birthday bash. Help your guy open up to your loved ones; tell your family that he's an accomplished guitar player rather than waiting for him to volunteer the information. Step 4 Remain patient and supportive during social situations.
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Hold his hand to reassure him at your office holiday party, and refrain from nagging him about his shyness. Avoid comments like "You didn't say anything at all to my dad," as they're destructive and will make him feel inadequate.